When i fuck shit up for myself I can always rely on my plan of getting absolutely fucked up. But no fuck this not this time. It is time to get myself back. The strange and weird person i was in year 10. Not this person just looking for another type of high. Lived that life now it is time to pay the price for it and accept it. These next few months you bastards are going to see me change who i am or die trying. Im back to being on my own again and im going to fucking show you all i can make it on my own and i will be a better person. I have been selfish lazy cold and distant bastard. Not any fucking more. Whether it is a month or a year people are going to look at me the same way they use to. Im going to fucking change even if it bloody kills me. I fucking refuse to be in the situation i have placed myself, i refuse to lose my friends and myself because of some stupid miss placed fear and i fucking refuse to let anything like this happen again. Ive already lost everything now it is time to start from scratch and hope im strong enough to do this.
"A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi knights. He betrayed and murdered your father. Now the Jedi are all but extinct. Vader was seduced by the dark side of the force."
Everyone feels so far away from me
Heavy thoughts sift through dust and the lies.
|—||Linkin Park - From the inside (via seelen-suche)|